Surreal State

Escape out the back door
into a backwards world
where Love and hate is one in the same
paradoxes side by side
where being awake is no more real than dreamin
secrets suspended in space
stars growth expansion sol
soul
Love and hate death and rebirth
What do they all mean
opposition of what's to come
what is now
but eternal balance and freedom
The dance of oppositions

used

Today I felt that a million thoughts rushed through me like a flood gate of to dos. While I sat here rushing from activity to activity with the lack of sleep, I struggled to gain an image of the bigger picture.

Sometimes I feel like I do not know what is real anymore. I feel like I cannot even write anymore because I cannot seem to explain myself anymore. I feel as though my grammatical errors are only becoming worse... perhaps due to my ever increasing stupidity? (No I Know it is subjective... but please allow me to explain...)

I felt even when I was much younger I have been more creative. As if my life experiences somehow rinsed my open perceptive view of the world.

Realizing that I have been lied to the last 6 months... and how much I believed all the lies, I cannot help but feel as though my senses are clouded. my senses are not picking up on the signs. somehow I have hid the signs and I saw only what I wanted to see.

From being told so many times that I was loved, but and yet so much was hidden in this deep obscurity. NO matter what I tried to do, to make sense of all the dark areas, I seemed to fill it up with my beautiful images.. my beautiful images of love and compassion. the images of a good time spent together, the images of a safe place just for us.

Why is it that I thought no matter how much I dreamed it would somehow be true? I remember having a revelation in the past I realized that dreams do come true...

But what was that? Just fragments, memories, of my former dreams. .

And here I try to sit and refrain from pondering the things my mind naturally wanders to. Why is it that subconsciously deep down in side i know the truth, but my mind won't let me see it? I feel like I have not had a break in quite sometime. It is like continuously sifting through portraits of feelings, memories, interpretations of these feelings and memories.. my questions.. and then the answers I give myself, even though I have no reaal reason to believe any of my answers are remotely true.

Confidence

and with that came a surge of confidence that flowed right through her every being.


One sunday afternoon she sat there talking to her love from far far away across the ocean. To her she ponders the reality of true love. True love is not that which hides... or seeks for something to be fulfilled, true love simply is. If you cannot be quiet and sit and view your universe from high up above, you will not see that all that persists in everything... is love...

And sometimes within each individual unique lifetime we find a special someone. That someone is special because in all the circumstances that is complex and things fall apart and come together in random measures... you have come to meet this person from that chaos.

And for a while it seems that anything is possible. The thing is that the only consistence we have is this space... empty space to reside in. Things are becoming all too clearer.

Why do I have to ever feel bad when I know about that which persists... like a fountain of bliss.

All the energy that was neptune now resides in my heart. That's where our home is made. For it is no longer in between my mind and eyes, all that is there is the realization of love. There is no such thing as an idea...

Chaos.
This is what we all are until we have the realization of love. Chaos still exists, but it makes sense. It make sense that things are the way they are... because it makes anything possible. Everything silently comes into being and silently goes away...

Does it ever really go away? But is it not just ourselves that are changing inside? Every interpretation of our surroundings states that it is something that does not exist independently of the mind.

So why continue to see with our mind? When we can feel...? we can feel the vastness of all that is in a safe and comforting home. all of its flux and continuation no longer is touching you... because you are the one that is fluctuating... and it resonates in everything

Le Danse

Let's see, the dance of life it is.

With every action there is a reaction. We can make the choices per action and reaction. It is quite easy and the choices happen naturally. If one is not so absorbed one can develop a pretty well falicific calculus. That simply means weighing the options of probabilities so that one may make the choice for the greater beneficial outcome.

As time seems to slow down and we can breathe. See reality for its true nature and with that knowledge develop a pretty well thought out system of calculating one's reality. Now, let us not forget that simply doing 'nothing' is in fact doing something and it to has its reactions.

I want you to know that you are asking the right kinds of questions. You are definitely onto something. It is now up to you to find the answers. Only just know this, you have the answers, you just need help remembering.

How to help remember...?
The silence between your thoughts. That's right. sit in it for as long as you can and if a thought arises so what? You can slip right back into it.

Let the clouds pass.

Any obstacle can be moved. Any obstacle can be made beneficial. You need the tools and the tools entail you knowing how to use the body.